My story. What's yours?

My name is Chelsea Rae Faverty, I'm an abnormal girl who chose to live a very normal life. I let life control me for a good 7 months but I'm ready to change that. The word "testimony" has become over spiritualized, but I am going to share my testimony with you in hopes that you can relate to some part of it and be encouraged. Your testimony is simply your story, and this is mine.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home with two amazing parents and two equally amazing younger brothers. We went to church every Sunday and participated in all the church camp outs, BBQs and Bible studies. I went to a few different private Christian elementary schools but finally settled in at Cascade Christian School. Starting in 7th grade I began to lead worship for chapel each week. Even at the age of 13 I had a real relationship with God. I let him guide me in my decision making and I could feel him near me. I wasn't just one of those kids "going through the motions."

I always had a little bit of a rebellious streak but it started getting worse as I got older. My parents did everything they could to tame that part of me but I always had to learn things the hard way. (Honestly, I think I will always have some hardheadedness in me no matter how old I get.) I got grounded every couple weeks for one thing or another (my parents were really strict), and I started to think about transferring to one of the public schools in the area because I was tired of being known as a goody-goody. I began to get depressed around the age of 16, every day was a roller coaster. Sometimes I could force myself to snap out of it, my dad always told me attitude is a choice, but other times I just felt like dying for no reason at all. My life was great, I had no reason to be so sad. That's something I still struggle with that today, actually. But even with all of theses things going on, I loved God with all of my heart and I always tried to do his will. I went on mission trips, I cut certain friends out of my life if I felt God leading me to, I forgave people who hurt me over and over.

At some point in all my years spent at Cascade I realized I was meant for something more. I don't know the day or the time but it seemed only natural and expected that I should go into vocational ministry. I decided to go to Bible college. Since my junior year I knew I wanted to go to Hillsong International Leadership College in Australia. It's an expensive school of ministry, but I knew that my God was not limited. I idolized Hillsong and once I found out they had a school for ministry I didn't want to go anywhere else. I didn't look at any other schools because that's what I wanted. No exceptions. No plan B.

Well, God works in mysterious ways and I started to get involved in the Jr. High ministry at Puyallup Foursquare Church. The Jr. High pastor there told me about a program called Ministry Institute, put on by Puyallup Foursquare. It was a program focused on raising up the future leaders of the world. You lived in dorms next to the church and you took accredited classes from NW University. Wow! This was the perfect alternative to going across the world and spending thousands of dollars! Just a couple months before the deadline, I applied and got accepted into MI. Turns out I went with plan B.

MI is an incredible program and it changed the way I see God and myself. I don't regret one day I spent in that program. But here's the kicker, Hillsong has been in the back of my mind since I was 17. The desire, urge, tug at my heart strings is still there 4 years later. I took the easy road by doing MI. Close to home, much less expensive, I knew a few people. It wasn't risky at all! And since when does God ask us to play it safe?

Growing up, I had these great dreams of becoming a women's speaker, worship leader, author, song-writer, and yet I was doing nothing to move toward these dreams. I set huge goals and had no plan to reach them. I was waiting for God to get on the loud speaker and tell me exactly what he wanted me to do. That never happened. Eventually, I got tired of feeling like a failure and I decided to stop dreaming big. I stopped holding myself to that higher standard that I've always lived by and I settled for a mediocre life. I got a full time job in sales and lived life like most 21 year olds do. I stopped going to church, stopped reading my Bible, stopped praying. Just worked hard and partied harder.

Now it's 7 months later and I am tired of living this normal life. I used to be so above average, I used to be exceptional. And now I'm normal, average, mediocre--but it's because I'm choosing to be. I know what I'm capable of yet I'm giving it up for what? The freedom to do what I want when I want? To have no accountability, no one telling me how to live? People will always tell you how to live. And you're never really free. There will always be rules, whether they're from man or God. It's time to start dreaming again.

One of my biggest fears is failure. I hate messing up. Whether it's saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, getting fired, starting something and not finishing it, disappointing people. I have let that fear inhibit me my whole life. I am not a risk taker. I would rather play it safe and be positive of the outcome, than take a leap of faith and risk failure. Is that really how I want to live my whole life? Honestly, no, not at all. Big accomplishments require big risks. Risk takers are history makers, and that's who I want to be--a person who makes history.

Who do you want to be? What's your story? Share with me, I'm all ears. My email is chelseafaverty@gmail.com or you can find me on facebook.

Faith.Hope.Love.

Chelsea Rae