Don't judge a book by its cover

As long as we're on the subject of love, insecurity and that sort of thing, I thought I would address a couple more issues. If you ever have any suggestions or questions, leave a comment and I'll be sure to answer.

Now, let's talk about confidence. I had a conversation with my friend today about low self-esteem and insecurity, and it made me wonder how many people out there are cripplingly insecure. How many girls are only pretending to be outgoing and bold? How many guys cover up insecurity with a macho man attitude? Which of the "popular girls" in school really are all they're cracked up to be? How do you know who's really confident and who's faking it? Now, I'm not going to answer all of these questions, because I don't have all the answers. I merely want to discuss some of the how's and why's of these questions.

Why are people insecure? Why do we care so much about what other people think of us? I have been thinking lately about how much we live our lives based on what other people will think of us. If we honestly didn't care at all what people thought of us, we would probably wear the same two pairs of jeans and our three favorite shirts every day of the week! We would still shower and be clean, but ladies, we probably wouldn't blow dry our hair hardly ever (I guess that applies to some guys as well, no shame on you), we wouldn't take the time to straighten it, we wouldn't wear makeup, we wouldn't care about the brand on our clothes, we probably wouldn't even carry a purse anymore because we wouldn't need all the hairspray, lipgloss, chapstick, hair-ties, and things we use it for. Now that's if we absolutely did not care one bit about what people thought about us. Now, that isn't logical. It's healthy to value other's opinions to a point. I would not recommend saying, "Screw you!" to the world and doing whatever you want whenever you want because you just don't care. Not the point here.

My point is, we should ask ourselves this question: How much do you live your life based on what other people will think?

Some people live their lives not thinking too much about building character or becoming a better person. They are who they are and they're fine with that. I am not like that. I am extremely introspective, constantly analyzing why I do what I do, what are my flaws and strengths, how can I grow and become a better person. The negative side of being that way is that I tend to over analyze, and sometimes I forget that not everyone is like me. So I am here to help you think outside of your box. Outside of your comfort zone. It's not comfortable thinking about who you really are sometimes.

I have a theory...I think almost everyone has little broken parts inside of them that they rarely let people see. You're either just coming out of a tough season, in a tough season, or about to enter into a tough season. Everyone has experienced pain. Everyone has been hurt. When you get hurt you have a choice. Are you going to store it up inside of you and get bitter? Or are you going to choose to learn from the experience and take something positive out of it?

Part of the problem is that we look at others differently than we look at ourselves. We see some people in this glorious light and we think they must be absolutely perfect! I do this thing where I get intimidated by perfect-looking people--guys and girls. I am afraid to go talk to people who look like they have it all together. I figure they don't want to talk to me or meet me, why would they? They probably have all the friends they need. That is horrible thinking! Just because they look like they have it all together doesn't mean they don't want to meet new people. As the old saying goes, don't judge a book by it's cover. But how often do we do that? If we're being really honest with ourselves, I think we do it a lot. Not even on purpose! We just see a group of people and we automatically start to put them in categories in our head. Would you want someone to do that to you? I wouldn't. Confident, outgoing, extroverted people sometimes have the least amount of real friends.

Hurting people hurt people. The next time someone is being a jerk, remember that. And instead of getting offended or irritated, try laughing it off. Maybe later take that person aside and ask them how they're doing. Sometimes all a person wants is for someone to care.

Now, to sum it all up, let's go over a couple things. First, everyone is at least a little bit insecure, even if they seem confident. Second, the ones that are the most confident may very well be the most broken inside (don't judge a book by its cover). Third, the biggest jerks are usually the ones who need a friend the most! Try being extra nice to someone who is mean to you and see what happens.

Remember, the two greatest commandments in the Bible are to love God and to love others. Let's be people who love with everything we have every single day!

Faith.Hope.Love.
Chelsea Rae